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I Am Awake And My Body Is On Fire

by Ocean of Ghosts

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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      €666 EUR

     

  • Cassette (VD07)
    Cassette + Digital Album

    Pro duplicated and printed pink-shell cassette with full-color J-card in soft poly cases.

    Edition of 100 (Fiadh, Realm & Ritual & Vita Detestabilis)

    Blue shell: realmandritual.bandcamp.com

    Pink shell: fiadh.bandcamp.com

    Digital: oceanofghosts.bandcamp.com

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Am Awake And My Body Is On Fire via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
A bloody cocoon emerging with rotten wings. Blackening the sky around her, floating like never before. Ending the burning that tormented his soul, and breaking the promises they made so long ago. Westbound on Peoria in a hearse, chainsaw to the roof to release the smoke from the burning coffin. Bringing plague and sickness across the valley.
2.
Is this a face or is it a message? A simple threat hiding behind bruises. Through bloody tears and broken teeth, standing tall and smiling. A pot to be smashed, a dog to be kicked. We cower and bow to your glory (O GLORY). I utter curses: Fuck your body. Fuck your space. Fuck your agency. A mouth to be closed, a vessel to be used. We cower and bow to your glory (O GLORY)!
3.
Trauma 05:18
It makes me sick. It leaves me breathless. It makes me want to force that hammer into the side of my neck. It holds me under. It won't relent. It drags my body down that dusty road and leaves it in a ditch. Will it cut me open to showcase the scars left on the inside from a lifetime ago? And when I wake up I rise to my knees. The roots come up from underground and hold me there forever, destined to become the watcher of the dirt. Will it cut me open to showcase the scars left on the inside from a lifetime ago? But that lifetime spreads, consuming the future me. Unknowingly dissolving in the belly of the beast.
4.
Nothing 05:10
I am a ghost haunted by nothing but my skin. I feel the weight haunting my eyelids every night. I don't always want to see this face staring back so achingly, clenching my teeth until they bleed. Will I ever get to see myself glaring back in disgust, sick and numb at what I've become? I know you are nothing. I am a ghost haunted by nothing but my skin. I feel the weight haunting my eyelids every night. You know you are nothing. Filling the silence with the echoes of my breath.
5.
Disgust 09:15
Suffer the way you were meant to: Bleeding through your mouth. A desperate hand twists the knife and leaves you writhing in the dirt. Sick of all these bullshit words! This machine demands blood! Fuck this, I'm out of here. Armed to the teeth, covered in gasoline. Kicking down the door to the temple to rid the planet of this waste.

about

Experimental atmospheric doom-sludge drone (FFO Thou) NY-based project created by Forest Brienne Cutrer - also from Bury Them And Keep Them Quiet.

Artist statement:

With 'I Am Awake And My Body Is On Fire' I wanted to capture the rage that accompanies accepting and presenting as a transgender person, as well as confronting the demons of internalized homophobia and transphobia. It challenges the stereotype of defining one’s transgender identity as a series of miseries and instead focuses on the anger of being forced to live in a society that doesn’t want you to exist. Up until this point with Ocean Of Ghosts, there has been a theme of longing, of mourning something that didn’t have words to describe. This is a turning point that morphs that loss into an energetic fire. Similarly in my life, I’ve been struggling to define this missing element of my own existence, and now that I can hold it in my hands and take charge of my body in the face of a nation that hates me. I’ll burn it all down if I have to because for the first time I am wide awake and I want to live.

Please, get digital directly from the artist: oceanofghosts.bandcamp.com

A percentage of physical sales will benefit Transhealth, an independent and comprehensive healthcare center that supports and empowers trans and gender-diverse individuals and families: transhealth.org

credits

released November 18, 2022

All songs written, performed, and recorded by Forest Brienne Cutrer” is enough.

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all rights reserved

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Vita Detestabilis Records Spain

Antifascist extreme metal label based in Spain.

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